Voice Test: OTA 🗣️

[onebullet]

1. Rough Ride

[ Trying to outrun pursuers, or in the middle of a gun fight and need an evac STAT? Never fear, Shepard is here!

The ramshackle car barrelling towards you screeches into a 180 turn at the last second, almost rolling from the force of the manoeuvre as too-thin tyres lose a little more of themselves to the concrete.

With two loud BANGs, the passenger-side door yields to the kicks of the driver, crashing against the front fender in a shower of glass. ]

Get in!

[ Shepard swivels back into position with a bounce, one hand gripping the wheel and the other on the stick-shift of the ancient car. Her focus snaps back to movement in the wing mirror, body tensed like a coiled spring that's itching to hit the gas. Maybe you know her, maybe you don't, but one thing is very clear: she's trying to save your ass from whatever mess you're in. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

2. Is This Loss?

[ Index finger thumps against pursed lips as she studies the display, brow furrowed in thought. Maybe it's something you yourself made, put a lot (or very little) effort into. Perhaps you're a fan of the arts, or maybe you're not but know this piece is valuable and are scoping the joint. Whatever your reasons, Shepard turns to look at you with her arms crossed, finger curled back into the fist resting against her chin.

Her bright eyes are piercing, her gaze unnervingly intense. ]

... I don't get it.

[ A small, self-deprecating smile and an unapologetic shrug. She's a soldier, not a critic. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

3. Choose Your Own Adventure

[Bring it on. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞]

Comments

[onebullet]

Especially with the armour. You strapped in tight?

[ She maybe should have checked all this a lot earlier, seeing as she's been pedal to the metal this entire time. ]

[thearchangel]

At this point, you'd need a saw blade to cut me out of this thing.

[He's tied himself in, and he's braced every possible limb against the interior. If this thing rolls, though, there will probably be trouble.]

[onebullet]

Noted.

[ She doesn't bother to tell him to hold on, he very clearly knows what's coming.

With as much grace as an elephant in a tutu, Shepard stamps on the car's break and twists the wheel anti-clockwise. The force of it physically pulls their bodies in the direction they were travelling before the turn, all the strain on their necks as the seatbelts hold the rest of their bodies steady. Both of them will feel this tomorrow.

There's an ungodly screech from the tyres as the ancient vehicle shoots off the asphalt onto the dirt and scrub. It is immediately a bad time: this is not an off-road car, and there's a rattling sound akin to a coin in a tin can coming from somewhere.

Shepard's having a great time. ]

[thearchangel]

Oh here we go...

[Yep. He knows.]

[And braces even more, if that's physically possible. It doesn't help a whole lot, when you have spiky things coming out the back of your head. He swears, colorfully when that happens. There's not much short of a helmet that could be done for that.]

Tree-! [He's helping! He's backseat driving from the passenger side! There's... not much else he can do but hold on and yell about trees. And rocks. And just about anything that may pose a problem to this old car.]

[onebullet]

Just like old times!

[ She calls this over the almighty racket of the vehicle, and of Garrus shouting about obstacles they're breezing by... and in some cases, over. Nothing big enough to stop the car, of course, just some willowy saplings or a dip in an animal burrow before bouncing back out again.

Until there's a popping sound and the rattling ceases, along with the engine, the car slowly rolling to a stop in the ass-end of nowhere. ]

[thearchangel]

[Yeah, this is exactly like old times. Exactly. And even more of a reason why he wasn't thrilled about the damned car.]

[When it does stop, he's silent. For several long, heavy moments.]

... well. It didn't explode.

[That's about the only good thing he can think up in this moment. They're in the middle of nowhere. In an ancient vehicle. And at least it didn't explode.]

[onebullet]

[ She sits with both hands on the wheel, as if willing the bucket of bolts to spring back to life, but it obviously does not respond to the power of psychic suggestion. With a loud groan, she pops her seatbelt off and opens the car door. ]

Time to put those brains of yours to use. How different from the Mako can this be?

[ Very, is the answer. ]

[thearchangel]

Brains? You keep me around for brains? I thought it was my charming good looks.

[He'll follow her, though. After a minute. Because he needs to somehow untangle himself from the mess he made of the seatbelt.]

[Without, you know, cutting it.]

What's the damage look like out there?

[onebullet]

[ She "tsks" and makes a show of rolling her eyes at him when she steps out of the car, as if she isn't amused by his witticisms. There's no point in closing the door after herself, the damn thing would probably fall right off if she slammed it too hard. ]

It's looking like, uh...

[ She flips the bonnet and reels back from the smoke and steam that greets her, obscuring her vision. With a cough, she waves a hand in front of her face to clear the smoke. ]

FUBAR.

[thearchangel]

[A few more floundering moments later, and he's out, joining her. He looks smug for a step or two. Because he's hilarious. Really, really funny.]

[It's all business though, when he comes around to look under the hood, too. Silence falls. His expression clouding right along with hers.]

... I don't even know what I'm looking at. This is so much worse than the Mako.

[onebullet]

[ Shepard's engineering experience started and ended with learning how to effectively break things open to slip inside places. This would be way beyond her wheelhouse, even if the vehicle was of their time, so Garrus having no clue is the final nail in the carbon steel coffin.

She slams the bonnet back down with a growl, the force causing the frame to bounce slightly on its wheels. Bringing up her omni-tool, she swipes the display and squints at the readings before putting it away again. ]

You up for a hike?

[ As if they have a choice. ]

[thearchangel]

[He tries. He waves smoke away, tries his own omnitool scan. Nothing. He may as well be looking at a surgical site. Completely and utterly clueless. This is nothing like any engine he's ever seen.]

Depends. Long as it's not snowing, I guess I can't complain.

[Which, of course, means he's with her. Hopefully they're far enough away from the piles of husks. Too far for any of them to catch up before they can get to an extraction point.]

Could always use a little more cardio.

[onebullet]

[ She snorts and looks up at the darkening sky. There's a slight chill in the air, but no dark clouds threatening to make this more unpleasant for Garrus.

The heavy pistol releases with a hiss as she grabs it from the holster. It's this and her omni-tool until they get back to the Normandy, she wasn't expecting to need her Widow on a pick-up. ]

Let's go, should be this way.

[ With that, she's off! ]

[thearchangel]

[Out of reflex, he looks up too. Okay - not even rain. Wet and cold are the worst, if he's honest. But if it really came down to it, he would forge on, regardless of the conditions. And save complaining for after pick-up.]

Right behind you.

[Just like always. And not to worry. He's got the rifle to spare.]

Isn't this what normal people do for fun? Hike through the wilderness?

[onebullet]

Define "normal".

[ Granted, people who go out on hikes aren't usually leaving their wrecked vehicle behind while it pours smoke like a signal-fire. Nor are they armed and armoured. ]

At least the company's decent.

[thearchangel]

You know, people who don't get shot at for a living.

[The average hiker. Who also really isn't likely to be chased by husks on a regular basis.]

[There's a beat of silence, a thoughtful one. His strides slow for a step or two.]

Yeah. Can't beat the view, either. [Garrus stop.]

you saw nothing

[onebullet]

[ A bark of surprised laughter. She stops and turns to look at him, shaking her head in mock disapproval. ]

Alright smooth talker, keep it moving or this view is going to leave you in the dust.

nothing at all

[thearchangel]

You have to admit, you walked right into that.

[But he picks up the pace again, keeping up with her once more.]

[onebullet]

You mean I was walking away from that.

Maybe you should come up front so I can have a change of scenery.

[ Two can play this game, Vakarian. ]

i hate that i have an icon for this

[thearchangel]

Who am I to say no to my commanding officer?

[Is he going to saunter a little while he steps up front? Yes, yes he is.]

[Just a bit of sauntering. For the game.]

OF COURSE YOU DO, why am I not surprised

[onebullet]

[ She'd give him a good 'ol human slap as he saunters on by, but she doesn't want to break her hand on his armour. Or even without the armour, Turians aren't exactly known for being squishy. ]

You should consider being a model with that strut.

[ She laughs again and then continues on, catching up enough that they're walking side-by-side. ]

[thearchangel]

[He actually laughs, too, that sort of wheezy laugh of his. Shaking his head.]

Only place that wanted to hire me was krogan Fornax. You know - the scars and all.

[Dinguses, the pair of them.]

[onebullet]

Oh yeah? And when was this? Tell me about it.

[ She's calling his bluff, ready for the yarn he's about to spin or the confession he was making it up.

Having a grand old time, considering the circumstances. ]

[thearchangel]

About the same time you got a breeding request on Tuchanka.

[Yeah, he went there. He's hilarious. The comedian of the crew, clearly.]

[It's the best retreat from a pack of husks ever.]

[onebullet]

[ She snorts and gives him a mock scowl. Point one to Garrus? ]

Come on, Garrus. Green isn't your colour.

[ OH IT CAN MEAN A SECRET, THIRD THING? ]