Voice Test: OTA 🗣️

[onebullet]

1. Rough Ride

[ Trying to outrun pursuers, or in the middle of a gun fight and need an evac STAT? Never fear, Shepard is here!

The ramshackle car barrelling towards you screeches into a 180 turn at the last second, almost rolling from the force of the manoeuvre as too-thin tyres lose a little more of themselves to the concrete.

With two loud BANGs, the passenger-side door yields to the kicks of the driver, crashing against the front fender in a shower of glass. ]

Get in!

[ Shepard swivels back into position with a bounce, one hand gripping the wheel and the other on the stick-shift of the ancient car. Her focus snaps back to movement in the wing mirror, body tensed like a coiled spring that's itching to hit the gas. Maybe you know her, maybe you don't, but one thing is very clear: she's trying to save your ass from whatever mess you're in. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

2. Is This Loss?

[ Index finger thumps against pursed lips as she studies the display, brow furrowed in thought. Maybe it's something you yourself made, put a lot (or very little) effort into. Perhaps you're a fan of the arts, or maybe you're not but know this piece is valuable and are scoping the joint. Whatever your reasons, Shepard turns to look at you with her arms crossed, finger curled back into the fist resting against her chin.

Her bright eyes are piercing, her gaze unnervingly intense. ]

... I don't get it.

[ A small, self-deprecating smile and an unapologetic shrug. She's a soldier, not a critic. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

3. Choose Your Own Adventure

[Bring it on. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞]

Comments

1.

[livelongandsass]

Oh, shit.

[Mariner's diving in the kicked open door without a second thought, but still. Talk about jumping out of the frying pan, and into the fire. Seatbelts are smart, she's a proponent of seatbelts after too much time on starships without them, but there's no time for any of that! She's just trying to get her arms and legs to stop being akimbo, so she can pull the door back closed.]

You know those old combustion engine vehicles are, like, super unreliable, right?

Re: 1.

[onebullet]

You better hold onto something.

[ Shepard doesn't wait for Mariner to get her affairs in order, nor for the door to be closed. She flattens the gas pedal, the car squealing in protest and jolting its occupants forwards, peeling from the alleyway with a juddering speed that confirms the warning. ]

It was this, or I ran in there on foot and hoped every bullet missed us.

[ As they careen onto the street and make a sharp turn, narrowly avoiding oncoming traffic, Shepard reaches out and grabs Mariner's arm to stop her from flying out of the open door, holding onto the steering wheel for dear life. ]

2. blame kimmeh

[howillusive]

[ Actually, he is a fan of the arts. That doesn't mean that he frequents galleries being the paranoid fuck that he is. No, it's a matter of proxies, of someone coming with a camera to make sure that he is able to see in real time what's going on, and enjoy the gallery from the safety of his station.

That, however, is still a poor substitute for the real thing, so sometimes — especially when a purchase is in the works — so here he is, at said gallery, admiring the exact same painting.

Had he been aware that it was Shepard nearby? Sure! But he also has guards in place, a pocket-sized emp for electronics, and a determination to not let her ruin his one day out for the entire fiscal year. ]

I'll take that as an endorsement, given my tastes compared to yours.

[ See? Cordial. ]

Re: 1.

[livelongandsass]

Oh no, bullets. You just gotta zig-zag. You zig, and then you zag. Do a aaaaAAAAAAAH -

[Mariner's been in a war, she's a little too cavalier about her personal safety. But the ensign is, in fact, starting to fall back out of the door as they go. She clutches at Shepard's arm in turn.]

Scratch that! Zag me! Zag me!

OH I WILL

[onebullet]

[ She snorts and rolls her eyes, briefly glancing back at the artwork as if a second viewing will make it make sense. It doesn't.]

Right. Taste.

[ Inscrutable as ever.

When Shepard looks back to him, the pretence is gone. There's no humour in her expression, just hostility. She's alone, unarmoured and unarmed. Despite that, she's reckless enough to fight her way out if she needs to, confident in her ability versus Cerberus goons... But there's always a catch with this guy. She always seems to be on the back foot, successes never feel complete.

And surely this is a hologram. Or a body double. Rigged with explosives. ]

Am I supposed to believe this is a coincidence?

Re: 1.

[onebullet]

[ Shouts and furious horns follow in their wake, the car weaving erratically through traffic as Shepard struggles to steer the car with one hand and prevent her companion from becoming roadkill with the other. Said vehicle grinds worryingly in the background, speeding too fast for the gear it's in and likely tearing itself apart under the hood, but for being 150 years out of Shepard's ""expertise"" it's a small miracle it's running at all. ]

What'd you do to piss them off?

[ Her eyes are on the rearview, completely off the road, watching for signs of pursuit. They are other people's problem. ]

[thearchangel]

( hello!! Would you like a right hand man? alien. guy. )

[onebullet]

( ALWAYS!! )

1

[thearchangel]

[Logically, there's no reason to complain. He shouldn't. He can't. Getting mobbed by a group of husks crashing into his supposedly secure location wasn't planned. He was trying to stay in cover, pick off the enemy from a distance - like a good sniper should. But then they had to go and break down the door, and he was booking it.]

[There was only so much one man with a rifle could do against a pack of ravenous husks. So when a car barrels up, regardless of the condition of the thing, he should be absolutely relieved. Except...]

You're driving?

[Except Shepard he remembers the mako!!]

Re: 1

[onebullet]

[ She ducks her head to look at him standing outside the car, raising an eyebrow. Shepard is fully convinced she is, and always has been, an excellent driver. No deaths, no injuries. Sure, the latter might have been down to everyone being in full armour, but that's splitting hairs. ]

There a problem with that, Vakarian?

[ Death by husk or possible death by careening off a cliff, it's a hard choice to be sure. ]

2; ok i revived her for this. for you.

[trident]

It's art.

( hawke remarks simply, as if she had any real knowledge on the topic herself.

she lifts a finger, gesturing to the bouquet of flowers protruding from a man's anus. )

Can't you feel the emotion here? The depth?

( of those stems? )

I'M SO HAPPYYYYY

[onebullet]

[ Shepard's mouth twitches in amusement, admiring her companion's composure for a moment before following her finger to the "art" she's being instructed to observe. ]

I feel like this is a you had to be there kinda thing.

[ A pause. She cranes her neck forwards slightly, eyes fixed in the same general area. ]

This guy's more my wavelength.

[ She points to the fish being carried out from behind the human vase. ]

Re: 1.

[livelongandsass]

Dude, it isn't always my fault.

[Just a bit of protest. Give her a few moments of straining against the shifting momentum of the car and eventually, Mariner gets a hand on the seatbelt, and starts securing herself. She admits,]

I mean. I might have called this guy out. How was I supposed to know he'd double down? You know, as a negotiating tactic. You know how these guys are, two out three doomsday ultimatums are a bluff.

Re: 1.

[onebullet]

[ With the click of the seatbelt, Shepard finally lets go of Mariner's arm and returns her hand to the steering wheel. Although they're still weaving around at breakneck speeds, Shepard seems less concerned with her driving and more with the-- ]

Back up a second. Doomsday ultimatum?

[ But of course that gets Shepard's attention. ]

[thearchangel]

Not right now!

[Maybe later. Later when there aren't husks. When it's a better time to banter back and forth about driving.]

[That said, he throws himself into the waiting vehicle, turning only to fire at the leading edge of the husks. Drive them back a few precious feet.]

I have no arguments right now!

[onebullet]

That's what I thought! Strap in!

[ There's no pause between the warning and the car surging forward, leaving the wave of husks shambling out into the street in a cloud of exhaust fumes. She glances up at the rearview, watches their shapes shrink until only the blue glow distinguishes them from regular people, then relaxes back in the seat.

The car doesn't slow down, though. No way a husk could chase and catch them in a vehicle, but the pedal is to the floor anyway, each sharp turn lifting one side of the car from the ground. If the Mako rolled they would, generally, be fine. But this tin can..?

Shepard isn't bothered. She's in her lane... and the other lanes, too. ]

Not like you to be caught be surprise, what happened?

[thearchangel]

[No sooner is his ass in the seat than he's snapping the harness into place. Only then is he slamming the door shut again. You learn these things. The lessons only the Mako can teach. He braces his legs too. Just for good measure.]

[Which is good. Very good. He also eases his hand up to the nearest hand grip. Just to be on the safe side. You always err on the side of caution when you're driving with Shepard.]

They tore down my barricade. [How many lanes is this thing even in right now.] Didn't think they were that determined. Never were before. I should've been more careful.

[He sounds annoyed with himself, too. He really should have kept an eye on his flank.]

[onebullet]

[ It's currently straddling their lane, plus oncoming traffic, but it's fine. Everything's fine. Other vehicles are making way for them when needed, the people here are real considerate. ]

So they're getting more advanced, or they were Cerberus husks. They didn't look like they came from Cerberus, though...

[ Neither possibility is great for them. The one thing the Reapers and Cerberus need a lot less of is bodies to throw into the line of fire, never mind smarter bodies. Husks are a big enough pain in the ass already.

There's a long pause before she continues, finally dragging the car into the correct lane, even if the speed hasn't reduced at all. ]

Why didn't you ask for backup?

[thearchangel]

[He actively winces a few times, when a bigger vehicle swerves around them. This is fine. All of this is fine.]

My bets are on advanced. Because our luck is just that great these days.

[Why wouldn't there be more advanced husks? Maybe they're both, even. He wouldn't put it past Cerberus to figure out a way to do make more advanced cannon fodder. They're devious that way.]

[He pries his hand off the hand-grip, finally. Okay, this is progress.]

You had other problems on your hands. Besides, I saw the ah... [What even is this vehicle.] ... truck. Coming.

[trident]

( a little snort at that. )

The fish?

( but she pauses, head tilting as she inspects the artwork and the limp fish. )

That supposed you after a great night at the tavern? Or it more about getting dragged outta bed in the morning?

[onebullet]

[ Shepard's jaw clenches, glowering at the road. She's clearly not happy, about either branch of the conversation, but particularly the latter part. It's true she often has a lot on her hands, but... ]

Next time, you ask me. And if I can't back you up, I'll make sure there's someone that can. Is that understood?

[ Her voice is low, thick with something that isn't quite anger. She's throwing her weight, pulling rank. Nothing is more important than her crew, especially her right hand. He needs to be able to rely on her. ]

[onebullet]

It's a "I'm being told this guy with flowers in his ass is meaningful" look.

Unless you're telling me that's the part you relate to.

[thearchangel]

Understood.

[Immediately. No questions asked. No rebuttal. That's how it works. You get a directive from Shepard, you respond in the affirmative. Unless - it's not physically possible. Even though he absolutely would have called her as a last resort. That's not important.]

[Though, with that out of the way, he can't resist...] Where did you find this thing, anyway?

[This... very interesting piece of machinery...]

[howillusive]

Is it such a surprise that I'm a fan of art?

[ Particularly this one, which is a human artist, albeit one who studies with the Asari, and their style reflected the usual dream-like strokes and unusual forms of an asari artist. It could almost be easy to mistake it, if it weren't for the name attached. ]

I think the suspicion should go the other way around. I generally expect your presence to be heralded by explosions, and maybe a diplomatic incident to follow.

[ look how reasonable he is being. Not even an assassination attempt thus far.

Ok, so he doesn't want to be caught in said explosion and wants to give the impression that he's in control. ]

[onebullet]

[ She trusts Garrus to challenge her when needed, but in this instance she's glad he took it on the chin - even if it was a little dramatic.

A little colour returns to the knuckles clamped on the steering wheel, the ire caused by what if scenarios over the close call appeased instantly. It's done, and they're safe...-ish. She is still driving, after all.

Speaking of the car. ]

Amazing, right? It's gotta be a hundred and fifty years old. Don't build them like they used to.

[ She thumps the roof, the fabric interior muffling the impact of her fist, but not the aftermath. Something outside the car dislodges with a very audible crunch, clattering onto the road in their wake. Shepard either doesn't notice, or doesn't care. Probably both. ]

Just tossed a few credits at a guy. Seemed pretty happy to have it taken off his hands, and I needed something quick.