Voice Test: OTA 🗣️

[onebullet]

1. Rough Ride

[ Trying to outrun pursuers, or in the middle of a gun fight and need an evac STAT? Never fear, Shepard is here!

The ramshackle car barrelling towards you screeches into a 180 turn at the last second, almost rolling from the force of the manoeuvre as too-thin tyres lose a little more of themselves to the concrete.

With two loud BANGs, the passenger-side door yields to the kicks of the driver, crashing against the front fender in a shower of glass. ]

Get in!

[ Shepard swivels back into position with a bounce, one hand gripping the wheel and the other on the stick-shift of the ancient car. Her focus snaps back to movement in the wing mirror, body tensed like a coiled spring that's itching to hit the gas. Maybe you know her, maybe you don't, but one thing is very clear: she's trying to save your ass from whatever mess you're in. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

2. Is This Loss?

[ Index finger thumps against pursed lips as she studies the display, brow furrowed in thought. Maybe it's something you yourself made, put a lot (or very little) effort into. Perhaps you're a fan of the arts, or maybe you're not but know this piece is valuable and are scoping the joint. Whatever your reasons, Shepard turns to look at you with her arms crossed, finger curled back into the fist resting against her chin.

Her bright eyes are piercing, her gaze unnervingly intense. ]

... I don't get it.

[ A small, self-deprecating smile and an unapologetic shrug. She's a soldier, not a critic. ]

⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

3. Choose Your Own Adventure

[Bring it on. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞]

Comments

[onebullet]

[ It's funnier for her to imagine Garrus being chased around by Vega like they're in some extranet comedy show. ]

Cow-free is how I like my ship, and my crew.

[ If Garrus had been fond of these creatures and genuinely wanted one as a pet she might, might, have considered bringing it on board. In a Hannibal-ass straightjacket. Thankfully, he is not. ]

[thearchangel]

[They'd probably settle it in an old fashioned wrestling match or something. Even odds who'd win.]

I guess we'll have to make do with the fish and the hamster...

[He likes the hamster too, let's be real. If only because those pets make Shepard happy.]

[onebullet]

[ She'd put money on Vega as a wind up. ]

Hey, the hamster is a valuable member of the crew. Honorary second-in-command.

[ She fucking loves that hamster. ]

[thearchangel]

[Some reach and flexibility without the round two.]

He'll be gunning for my job, next. I guess I have to step up the calibrations.

[Garrus no.]

[onebullet]

[ Garrus no. ]

You calibrate those guns any more and you'll turn into one of them.

[thearchangel]

That'd save on dextro rations, at least.

[How do you keep this comedian around.]

[onebullet]

In that case, feel free. I wouldn't need to worry about a gun being a smartass, either.

[thearchangel]

Oh, trust me, you would. I'd find a way.

[onebullet]

You're right, you shoot your mouth off enough already.

[ She winks and shoots a finger gun at him with the hand not gripping her pistol. ]

[thearchangel]

... Wait, what's that one?

[He shifts his rifle to lean against his shoulder and the crook of his elbow, in order to imitate her.]

Is that the insulting one, or the... 'we're good' one?

[onebullet]

It's the "I just made a funny joke" one.

[ The shifty cow is probably robbing them both blind. ]

[thearchangel]

[They're going to have to take the cow with them to get their money back-]

Ah. Then... right back at you.

[onebullet]

[ Looks like steak's going to be on the menu tonight. ]

I can see why you like being a smartass so much.